Today, like every other day, I AM BELIEVING

I love you Hirsch family, stay strong

 

With all my love,

Miranda Jensen

 

 

Sending all my love to the family.

Love you guys!

 

"Life is like a road

sometimes you can see so clearly

other times it dark, filled with

confusion.  Thoughts as black as night

You choose the road you take

how fast you travel

and where you want to go.

Others may crash.  Some

may fall out of line its

your choice,

your path,

you be the driver of your own life,

you find your own road"

"The sun shines bright

Gone is the night

Time to begin a new day

Do I want to get up and study or go outside to play?

My life is all about decisions

In my mind, I see my future through other's visions

I must study hard to move ahead

Making many sacrifices in my life instead

To be a great doctor is my choice

Instead of store clerk or singer, rejoice!

I want to heal people and save lives

My days of sleeping will soon be deprived

No longer a kid with carefree days

Do I really want this or is it just a phase?

No, I believe this is what I want to do

Medical profession's what I am into

Fixing people with cuts and broken bones

Diagnosing diseases still unknown

Do I want to be a surgeon or pediatrician?

It really doesn't matter saving lives is my mission

I will treat any person white or black

I will be the doctor to pick up the slack

No matter what the condition will be

I would hope that the other doctors agree

For a decision could be a matter of life or death

Will I show regard for the patient's last breath?"

and then a sad one that reflects the opposite of your own pain but is so powerful, especially from a 12 year old:

"The water drifts away each day

I have to wake up to a new beginning

where I have no woman to look to

I have to see that it's not my fault

But I have to choose what 

I want to do

I want to see the one 

that held me in her arms

but I know she is very far

I look up each day at a star

and make a decision to stay"

Jacquie and you all are in my thoughts every day...<3

Colleen 

This might be too long for you to read. I didn't plan on it being so long.It has taken me so long to look at this website again although I haven't forgotten about you, your daughter and your family.I stopped reading after a long time because I couldn't go back to those feelings I had at that time in my life when I started to read about you. I used to read the obituaries everyday. Trying to figure out how old he or she was when they died? Trying to figure out how they died. Was it cancer? an accident? I would find comfort when I felt the people lived long lives. Though their family would want more days with them they seemed to follow the "natural" course of life. That is how I came upon your story. I used to read what you wrote almost everyday. I thought you could put into words so perfectly about a mother and a daughter, about a mother and her children. I thought you could understand the pain, fear and feelings of being apart from them. Thank-god I have never had to actually feel those feelings but the thought of them scared me beyond words. You may remember a few of my messages I sent you but probably not. I found out more then five years ago right after the birth of my youngest daughter that I had a brain tumor. The outcome was uncertain. I spent too much time in MRI machines and doctors offices. Everything was going well, no changes in my scans at all. The tumor was behaving very benign. The whole time my only fear was being away from my children. As you know children need their Moms forever. They cannot be apart. Then I experienced  another fearful reality. I started to have grandmal seizures. They were difficult to control, and at times they seemed too much to bear. Not for me but for my children. I felt lucky it was happening to me and not to them. I couldn't drive for a long time. The medications were tough and will have to deal with that part for the rest of my life. It seems almost foolish to even mention these, what seem like small obstacles compared to what you have been through.I feel ridiculous thinking that it was all that bad or is that bad.  I have to say I was kind of counting time as do you. I just kept wanting to make it to certain milestones with my kids. I wanted to make it to at least see my youngest turned five. I wanted to watch her go to kindergarten. They needed me to be there. I wanted my  kids to beable to get to ages when they could have memories of me. I would think, how old do they have to be to have memories of me? I have to make it until then. The list is endless. I always thought I'm going to be the absolutly best Mom I can be as long as we get to be together. Some kids don't have Moms and my kids will have the best one as long as they can. They will never see me struggle or be afraid. I take pride in the fact that I have done this pretty well. 

Kindergarten, middle school,boyfriends, everyday advice I can give them I need to be there. I would think- I have to get them until they can can be independent. They would always need me but what is it 18? 21? what age will they be ok?  After I kept experiencing these times and "milestones" I just keep wanting more and more. I realized it will never be enough. I realized I will always keep wanting more and more and will cherish, with every bit of myself, every second I get with them. It truly is a gift. I know I went on for way too long. For some reason I feel I can express to a stranger, what I can't to the people I am closest to. It looks like I get to be with them for a long time more. Things are going well. The tumor is still there, the seizures are still there, the scans will continue, but I am ok. I am going to be ok. I will be here and with them for a long long time. Though our experiences have been so different and yours an actual reality and mine just a fear. You actually helped me through it. What you wrote made me feel like someone can really understand how I feel about my children. I read the courage and heartache you have experienced. You are a brave and an unbelievable person. Even though it doen't always feel that way. Jacquie has the best Mom ever. You are always her Mom. I will continue to cherish every second with my kids. I feel, as do you, that I was given the absolute best children ever. How did I get so lucky? You are also got the best children a Mother could ask for. I hope it is ok, but I copyied you when my son started asking me what happens when you die. I tell him we (our family) is a little "five pack". No matter where we are we will always be together. Our little five pack. I am sorry this is so long. I am sorry it is all over the place. I am a horrible writer. I just wanted to Thank-you. Thank-you so, so much. Now all I have to do is hit the enter button. 

Jackie 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

xoxo alicia 

i miss you beautiful angel, oh so much. some days it still doesn't seem real.

xoxo <3 alicia <3 

i miss you so much Jacquie. Thinking of you all each and every day.

 

love mandz

Dear Family,

 

It has been almost 2 weeks since the Tinkerball and I continuously think about that night and how amazing it was.  Not only did I have the best night of my life, but while I was having so much fun, I knew that all of this time, effort, hard work, was all for Jacquie and that is what made my night so very special. I am so thankful for being apart of raising money for Jacquie's foundation and over all, being apart of remembering her. I will never ever stop supporting this foundation because it has touched my heart and has changed my life along with so many others. So I thankyou all for allowing me to be apart of this journey to continue to honor Jacquie

 

Love Always,

Natalie Maranto

 

 

Dear Sharon & Family;  I'm so sorry that I missed the "Ball"!  I really looked forward to being with my boys & possibly getting them to dance with me but unfortunately it was the day my brother "Stan" became ill.  Well now we've got another angel to look over us and Jacquie is going to have her hands full with that one!  So don't you dare not have the "Ball" again next year because I WILL BE THERE!! I'm so glad it was a success. 

today is my dad's birthday. and it has been 4 years since we last celebrated his birthday all together. and i realized today how sad i was when thinking it had been 4 years. i can't believe that i have gone on for so long without him, if 4 years ago you had asked me if i could go on for a day without him, i would truly have believed i could not. then i realized something, and sharon, torey, tj, maybe you have all already realized this all well, but it just came to me today. i was thinking about how people are probably sick of me posting on my FB status every time it is his birthday, father's day, or the anniversary of his passing. and while people will deny it, i can guarantee that some people think i should be a lot more moved on from it. i know that some people think "4 years, come on." 

we all know that you never truly get over losing someone who means the world to you, 4 years, 15 years, 60 years. and i realized that even if your brain can tell you your loved one is gone forever, and even if your brain can grasp that is has been 3.5 years (or however long), and even if your brain knows it will continue to be forever until you are with them, it is your HEART that never learns, and your heart that never catches up. i think it takes a lifetime for your heart to learn what your brain already knows.  

Sharon,

 

Thinking of you every day.  Stay strong!  Please don't give up hope.

xoxoxoxo

i miss you beautiful girl 

Love,

Lauren

I've been thinking about you a lot this week. I meet one of your cousins on Tuesday when I saw her wearing your purple bracelet. It's easy to talk to complete strangers when it involves you!  And then again today, I found out that my boyfriend's best friend rode on your team at the Ride for Roswell race when I saw him wearing the purple band this afternoon. Even as the soreness of biking 33 miles without training was setting in, he was already talking about how he wanted to ride again next year because of how great the cause was.